The Cow

So, I'm going to class in Williams, and there's this big group outside the building. The crowd is there because there's this cow in front of the doors. All the people there are protesting and yelling "Kill the cow! We want steak!". Anyway, I walk up to the cow and I say, hey, I have a class to get to that I just got a fuckin' 45% on and I really need to go. Now, I don't care about these other fuckers, but if you could move for me, that would be cool.

The cow goes, I don't give a fuck what you say.

So I go, you know, you really need to move it, I mean, these other fuckers eat your kind, but I don't, so if I could get some slack.

The cow goes, fuck you, I ain't movin'.

So I say, fuck you then, I'm gonna kick you in the head. So I did, right? The cow falls to the ground and I step over him. Then I get out some smelling salts, and woke the cow up. And no one else got to class.

--Rant spoken by The Platypus 3/30/99
--Documented by Junius Welch later that night

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